In two short days, I'll be entering my query and 150 words to the GUTGAA small press portion of the contest. I gratefully accept any and all feedback! I also appreciate all the help everyone has already given me.
Quick side note: I've considered renaming my book. While I feel like Uncovered fits perfectly, I think it might be slightly lackluster. Any thoughts on that?
(UPDATED QUERY: In case anyone stops by, here is the edited version)
When Hallie Hartman’s
life turns into nothing short of a freak-show, she knows she took her ordinary
life for granted. Running into tall, dark, and swoon-worthy Colton Dane changed
everything. He’s teeming with secrets and his cryptic answers about who he is
and where he’s from have Hallie yearning to punch him—whenever she’s not
thinking about kissing him. When she finally uncovers the truth, she finds he’s
not just from out of town.
He’s an alien.
Unfortunately, there are other secrets far more terrifying.
The Megaera, a deranged alien mafia group, is hunting Hallie. They say she’s a
Hamartia, a half human race who isn’t allowed to exist. The Megaera think she
could be an asset but they didn’t anticipate finding a Hamartia without any abilities.
Hallie’s not sure if Colton can be trusted but she knows she’ll be their
prisoner until she decides which is worse, being a pawn or being dead.
UNCOVERED
YA Sci-Fi Romance
62,000 Words
Query: (ORIGINAL)
When Hallie Hartman’s life turns into nothing short of a freak-show, she knows she took her mind-numbingly ordinary life for granted. She didn’t expect running into Colton Dane would change everything. He’s tall, dark, swoon-worthy and teeming with secrets. His cryptic answers have Hallie yearning to punch him--whenever she’s not thinking about kissing him. To her, this is so not awesome. When she finally uncovers the truth, she finds he’s not just from out of town.
He’s an alien.
There are other secrets far more terrifying. The Megaera, an outcasted rebel faction, is hunting Hallie. The deranged alien mafia group says she’s a Hamartia, a half human race who isn’t allowed to exist because they’re a threat. The Megaera thinks she could be an asset but they didn’t anticipate finding a Hamartia unable to manipulate energy like they can. She’ll be their prisoner until she decides which is worse, being a pawn or being dead.
First 150:
My entire life has consisted of a level
of normalcy that makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a pen.
That
was the only sentence of my English essay I had written after thirty minutes of
mindless pen tapping. All my brilliant ideas had vanished—if I’d really had any
to begin with. Spinning my chair around, I resigned myself to the fact that
staring at the screen would not magically make words appear.
I decided to distract myself with a run.
After I’d changed, pulled on my shoes, and grabbed my iPod, I left the house
and started pounding pavement. Clearly, I couldn’t write an essay to save my
life. In fact, the only thing exceptional about me is how fast I can run but
what is that going to do for me? Now, if I could find a way to run straight out
of my dull life and into one that’s electrifying, maybe I’d have a use for it.
